How to Stop Letting People take Advantage of You

How to stop letting people take advantage of you

If you are empathetic, kind, understanding life will bring you a lot of joy, however there are going to be times when you feel that certain things are unfair. One of the biggest problems that kind people experience is people taking advantage of them.

Your general nature does not allow you to deny a request or a demand. However, keeping up with all of the demands becomes toxic and exhausting. 

Some pointers to help you through the problem: 

1) Understand if people genuinely need help or they are just being lazy or manipulative. Some people have a nature to get things done via others to make their own lives easier. Pay attention to such selfish acts.

2) Set your limit. If the demands are repetitive and infinite. Limit the amount of money, time, resources you would want to give. If you set a limit you will not go beyond it and exhaust yourself.

3) Take some time before you say 'Yes'. This will help you understand the situation and prepare. Preparation is required if you are not used to restrict such people.

4) Say 'No' and be okay with someone being upset with you. It is natural that others will be disappointed if you restrict. The next time they will rethink before taking advantage. 

5) Talk to someone who understands. Who can help you to not feel guilty for setting boundaries. It is natural to feel guilty. However, you need to say no for your wellbeing.

How to be Assertive

How to be Assertive

Assertiveness is a social skill that relies on effective communication, in which you have healthy confidence to stand up for yourself while maintaining respect for others.

If you are assertive with your viewpoint, you can express yourself without being hostile or submissive. You will have a better chance of being understood and getting what you desire. 

Let's discuss 5 steps to become assertive.

1) Be calm and speak up. Pay close attention to your body language. Lean in a bit, maintain eye contact, keep a smile or a neutral expression. Mentally be prepared with what you want to say.

2) Understand and accept disagreement. Being assertive does not mean that you have to be aggressive or put people down. You need to state your point of view, as well as understand what others have to say. A disagreement will not make you angry.

3) Keep it short and simple. What you need to say has to be short and direct, so that people can understand easily. If you beat around the bush or be extremely elaborate, people might lose interest or get annoyed. 

4) The power of 'I' - Rather than saying 'You should' or 'Your never', say 'I feel' or 'I understand that'. 'You' statements sound aggressive and belittling, whereas 'I' will make you sound more empathetic and confident.

5) Respecting your own boundaries - Understanding when to say 'no' or 'yes'. If you feel that others are being rude to you, in that case you can decide what you will or will not do. If you respect your own boundaries, others will learn to do the same.

It takes time to learn and practice assertiveness. Start today and gradually you will succeed.