How to be more Authentic and not let others affect you

How to be more Authentic and not let others affect you

Most of our behaviour is based on what others are going to think about us. Being a part of the society a lot of our actions and thoughts are derived from what we see and learn.

Our natural tendency would then be to fit in to what the society or other people would think as 'correct' or 'good'. Does that not stop us from being our authentic self? Yes it does. The less we focus on how others are going to think about us, the more authentic and true we are going to be. It is a blissful state to not think about what others think about us. How do we do it? 

• The mean things that people say, they are saying it about themselves and not to you. 

• Be true to yourself. Write down your beliefs, experiences and what you are learning from them. Try to perceive yourself though your own journey. 

• The worst thing could be said in a beautiful manner. If someone is criticising you to bring you down instead of helping you grow. You do not need that information.

• Someone's mean words are in their head and their feelings. It will never affect YOU adversely if you don't let it. Something to think about! 

• You have one life! Eliminate the toxic sources that bring you down. Trust your intuition. You are growing every second. You are living through your journey and nobody else can feel what it is like to be you. 

Why do we ignore Red Flags in a Relationship?

Why do we ignore Red Flags in a Relationship?

A relationship is meant to be comforting and loving. When two people are in a relationship there is scope for individual growth as well as growth as a couple. 

Sometimes unknowingly or accidentally we enter relationships which might appear healthy, however various issues start emerging soon. 

Red flags are signs of danger. In relationships these dangers are lack of trust, lack of interest, cheating tendencies, abuse of various kinds namely physical, verbal or sexual, disrespectful behaviour, tendencies to pick up fights, constant criticism etc.

If we are in a relationship with a person who has shown red flags it can lead to several mental health issues. However, many of us see the red flags but choose to ignore them and continue to be in the relationship. Why does this happen? 

1. We believe that something is better than nothing and we are afraid to be alone.

2. We pay more attention to the "good times" and ignore their inconsistent patterns of behaviour.

3. We believe them when they say they are going to change.

4. We tell ourselves "it's not that bad" and focus on the person's positive behaviour.

5. We suffer from low self esteem, believe this is how relationships should be and we don't deserve better.

6. The pressure that society creates for one to be in a relationship, forces us to be in the unsuitable relationship even if we are unhappy.

How to Stop Letting People take Advantage of You

How to stop letting people take advantage of you

If you are empathetic, kind, understanding life will bring you a lot of joy, however there are going to be times when you feel that certain things are unfair. One of the biggest problems that kind people experience is people taking advantage of them.

Your general nature does not allow you to deny a request or a demand. However, keeping up with all of the demands becomes toxic and exhausting. 

Some pointers to help you through the problem: 

1) Understand if people genuinely need help or they are just being lazy or manipulative. Some people have a nature to get things done via others to make their own lives easier. Pay attention to such selfish acts.

2) Set your limit. If the demands are repetitive and infinite. Limit the amount of money, time, resources you would want to give. If you set a limit you will not go beyond it and exhaust yourself.

3) Take some time before you say 'Yes'. This will help you understand the situation and prepare. Preparation is required if you are not used to restrict such people.

4) Say 'No' and be okay with someone being upset with you. It is natural that others will be disappointed if you restrict. The next time they will rethink before taking advantage. 

5) Talk to someone who understands. Who can help you to not feel guilty for setting boundaries. It is natural to feel guilty. However, you need to say no for your wellbeing.