Wednesday, 30 December 2020
Friday, 27 November 2020
How to be more Authentic and not let others affect you
Most of our behaviour is based on what others are going to think about us. Being a part of the society a lot of our actions and thoughts are derived from what we see and learn.
Our natural tendency would then be to fit in to what the society or other people would think as 'correct' or 'good'. Does that not stop us from being our authentic self? Yes it does. The less we focus on how others are going to think about us, the more authentic and true we are going to be. It is a blissful state to not think about what others think about us. How do we do it?
The mean things that people say, they are saying it about themselves and not to you.
Be true to yourself. Write down your beliefs, experiences and what you are learning from them. Try to perceive yourself though your own journey.
The worst thing could be said in a beautiful manner. If someone is criticising you to bring you down instead of helping you grow. You do not need that information.
Someone's mean words are in their head and their feelings. It will never affect YOU adversely if you don't let it. Something to think about!
You have one life! Eliminate the toxic sources that bring you down. Trust your intuition. You are growing every second. You are living through your journey and nobody else can feel what it is like to be you.
Monday, 23 November 2020
Understand bullies and how to deal with them
Bullies are people who deliberately seek to harm or intimidate those who they understand as vulnerable. People can be bullied from very early school days or even face similar situations later in their life at work place and family life.
Bullies can be abusive verbally or physically. Teasing, shaming, hitting, punching or taking away things such as money, food etc.
The person who is getting bullied can suffer from stress, low confidence, fear, inability to concentrate, worry, poor appetite and sleep.
People who bully have experienced or are experiencing stressful or traumatic situations themselves.
People who bully suffer from low self esteem. Bullying helps them mask their actual feelings and get attention from others.
Bullies often believe that by bullying others they can feel stronger and safer from other bullies.
In order to deal with bullies:
Be very calm and seek help from someone who can understand the situation.
Never show the bully that you are afraid or affected by their behaviour. This will reinforce the bully to intimidate you again.
Don't try to fight back. If they say "you are stupid!", say " Yes, we all are stupid at times, you are right " and walk away.
Don't take bullies personally. The mean things they do or say are not meant for you. The bullies are also fighting a battle. However, don't let them bring you down.
Monday, 16 November 2020
How Journaling can improve your Life
The benefits of journaling are endless. You can write about your daily life, your goals and dreams, express gratitude, find solutions for your difficult life situations, give non judgmental space to your thoughts.
Journaling helps reduce stress, uplifts mood, improves memory and strengthens our emotional functions.
Benefits of journaling:
Documenting little things about your daily life is a celebration of who you are.
A safe space for you to create, express and find yourself.
Once you start writing about your life you can figure out what's important for you and what's not.
It will help you slow down, observe your thoughts and help you find the positivity within yourself.
You can look back, reflect on the challenges you faced and honour your progress and success.
Monday, 9 November 2020
How to not care how others think of you
It is natural for us to want to be liked and loved by the people around us. We all are developing to be different and unique individuals. We have our own opinion and style. People around us are not always going to be accepting and kind. That is the bitter truth.
If we focus too much on being appreciated by everyone it is going to be very stressful, because it is next to impossible. When we desire it too much, we are going to hinder the growth of our authentic self.
So how do you not care what others think?
Some people are going to dislike you and there is nothing you can do about it. There isn't a perfect world where one is liked by everybody.
When people are being mean they are usually projecting. (They feel about you the way they feel about themselves)
Trust few opinions only from trusted sources. Opinions that will help you grow and not make you restless.
Be around people who are more accepting and admire your authentic self.
You have one life, live it to the fullest and don't let how others think of you spoil another moment of your life.
Monday, 2 November 2020
Why do we ignore Red Flags in a Relationship?
A relationship is meant to be comforting and loving. When two people are in a relationship there is scope for individual growth as well as growth as a couple.
Sometimes unknowingly or accidentally we enter relationships which might appear healthy, however various issues start emerging soon.
Red flags are signs of danger. In relationships these dangers are lack of trust, lack of interest, cheating tendencies, abuse of various kinds namely physical, verbal or sexual, disrespectful behaviour, tendencies to pick up fights, constant criticism etc.
If we are in a relationship with a person who has shown red flags it can lead to several mental health issues. However, many of us see the red flags but choose to ignore them and continue to be in the relationship. Why does this happen?
We believe that something is better than nothing and we are afraid to be alone.
We pay more attention to the "good times" and ignore their inconsistent patterns of behaviour.
We believe them when they say they are going to change.
We tell ourselves "it's not that bad" and focus on the person's positive behaviour.
We suffer from low self esteem, believe this is how relationships should be and we don't deserve better.
The pressure that society creates for one to be in a relationship, forces us to be in the unsuitable relationship even if we are unhappy.
Thursday, 29 October 2020
Things I can Control
There are things that are in our control and things that are never in our control. If we focus on the latter we will get anxious and sad. However, if we focus on the things that are within our ability to manage we are going to feel happy and content.
The choices that I make - The things we choose in life, it can be the book we pick up and read or the career that we choose. They are all upon us. We are independent when it comes to making choices.
People I spend time with - The people we spend time with have a great impact on us. If we are around people who are positive and motivating we are going to grow, whereas on the contrary people with a negative mindset can bring us down. The choice is ours to make.
How I respond to my mistakes - We all make mistakes, but how we choose to react to the mistake is completely upon us. We can sulk and regret or we can learn from it and move on.
My values and beliefs - We have a certain way of thinking, our values and beliefs are a part of it. They can change with time. How we form them and allow them to control our lives is up to us.
The things I say - Words are important. What we say to others and what we say to ourselves are in our control. Using kind and happy words will impact us greatly. Words control our actions and feelings.
The hard work I put into things - What we achieve is up to us only through the effort that we put in. Our hard work and our dedication is up to us. We can create and control our success.
The boundaries I create for myself - Saying no if we are uncomfortable is in our direct control, it might be difficult but it is not impossible.
How I take care of myself - The food we choose to eat, the time we choose to sleep, the amount of exercise we want to get is all in our control. What makes us feel good is up to us.
Write down all the important things you learnt this year. Small things to big ones. Today is a good day to reflect back and smile! :) ...