How to not care how others think of you

How to not care how others think of you

It is natural for us to want to be liked and loved by the people around us. We all are developing to be different and unique individuals. We have our own opinion and style. People around us are not always going to be accepting and kind. That is the bitter truth. 

If we focus too much on being appreciated by everyone it is going to be very stressful, because it is next to impossible. When we desire it too much, we are going to hinder the growth of our authentic self. 

So how do you not care what others think? 

• Some people are going to dislike you and there is nothing you can do about it. There isn't a perfect world where one is liked by everybody.

• When people are being mean they are usually projecting. (They feel about you the way they feel about themselves)

• Trust few opinions only from trusted sources. Opinions that will help you grow and not make you restless.

• Be around people who are more accepting and admire your authentic self.

• You have one life, live it to the fullest and don't let how others think of you spoil another moment of your life.

Why do we ignore Red Flags in a Relationship?

Why do we ignore Red Flags in a Relationship?

A relationship is meant to be comforting and loving. When two people are in a relationship there is scope for individual growth as well as growth as a couple. 

Sometimes unknowingly or accidentally we enter relationships which might appear healthy, however various issues start emerging soon. 

Red flags are signs of danger. In relationships these dangers are lack of trust, lack of interest, cheating tendencies, abuse of various kinds namely physical, verbal or sexual, disrespectful behaviour, tendencies to pick up fights, constant criticism etc.

If we are in a relationship with a person who has shown red flags it can lead to several mental health issues. However, many of us see the red flags but choose to ignore them and continue to be in the relationship. Why does this happen? 

1. We believe that something is better than nothing and we are afraid to be alone.

2. We pay more attention to the "good times" and ignore their inconsistent patterns of behaviour.

3. We believe them when they say they are going to change.

4. We tell ourselves "it's not that bad" and focus on the person's positive behaviour.

5. We suffer from low self esteem, believe this is how relationships should be and we don't deserve better.

6. The pressure that society creates for one to be in a relationship, forces us to be in the unsuitable relationship even if we are unhappy.

Things I can Control

Things I can Control

There are things that are in our control and things that are never in our control. If we focus on the latter we will get anxious and sad. However, if we focus on the things that are within our ability to manage we are going to feel happy and content. 

1. The choices that I make - The things we choose in life, it can be the book we pick up and read or the career that we choose. They are all upon us. We are independent when it comes to making choices.

2. People I spend time with - The people we spend time with have a great impact on us. If we are around people who are positive and motivating we are going to grow, whereas on the contrary people with a negative mindset can bring us down. The choice is ours to make.

3. How I respond to my mistakes - We all make mistakes, but how we choose to react to the mistake is completely upon us. We can sulk and regret or we can learn from it and move on.

4. My values and beliefs - We have a certain way of thinking, our values and beliefs are a part of it. They can change with time. How we form them and allow them to control our lives is up to us.

5. The things I say - Words are important. What we say to others and what we say to ourselves are in our control. Using kind and happy words will impact us greatly. Words control our actions and feelings.

6. The hard work I put into things - What we achieve is up to us only through the effort that we put in. Our hard work and our dedication is up to us. We can create and control our success.

7. The boundaries I create for myself - Saying no if we are uncomfortable is in our direct control, it might be difficult but it is not impossible. 

8. How I take care of myself - The food we choose to eat, the time we choose to sleep, the amount of exercise we want to get is all in our control. What makes us feel good is up to us. 

How to be more Productive

How to be more Productive

Productivity is getting things done more efficiently rather than doing a lot of things within a stipulated time. 

Many people struggle to be productive, to find a flow at work. This is mostly due to distraction, stress, lack of practice, difficulty in concentration etc.

In this fast paced life, the need to be productive is immense. There is limited time and the amount of work increases on a daily basis. 

Here are some ways in which you can increase your productivity.

1. Do not multitask - Finish one thing at a time. Doing everything together will reduce productivity and a lot of time will be lost. 

2. Schedule and set goals - The best way to get things done. Fix a time, stick to it and finish your work. You will gradually learn the amount of time you need to dedicate for each work. For now just start.

3. 2 Minute Rule - If there is any task that can be completed in 2 minutes or less, do it immediately. The work that can be finished now will consume less time than if you keep it for later.

4. Set time for unpleasant work - Keep a separate time slot for all the things that you don't like to do, keep it fixed and get those work done everyday at that time so that the rest of the day you don't have to worry about it.

5. Take breaks - Take breaks in between work so that you don't get fatigued. Use that time to rejuvenate. However don't get carried away during these breaks.

6. Focus on your learning and not perfection - Let go of the need to be perfect. It will waste a lot of time. Focus on how you are learning. Perfection will come gradually.

7. Keep things Aesthetically pleasant - Make your work environment nice and healthy. Declutter and organise everything. Keep plants, paintings or anything that makes you happy.

8. Keep a not to do list - We can be very productive as long as we are not constantly distracted by the things that waste our time. Keep a list of things that you are going to avoid doing while you work.

9. Eat, sleep and exercise - The trio for good health, a good life and productivity. 

Why Crying Helps

Why Crying Helps

Crying is a natural response to an emotional state. Various emotions bring out the tears such as happiness, sadness, anger or surprise. Some people can cry very easily whereas others find it hard to express themselves through tears. 

Everyone should feel free to cry. Crying is healthy, it is cathartic and improves the sense of well being.

Here are some of the reasons that show why crying is helpful.

1. Reduces stress - Crying has a soothing effect. It is calming. Crying removes toxins from our bodies and helps to regulate emotions.

2. Receive support - Crying helps people understand if someone needs support. It helps develop stronger attachment with others.

3. Reduces pain - Chemicals such as oxytocin helps us to feel good. It reliefs us emotional and physical pain.

4. Improves mood - The feel good hormones enhances the mood. No wonder one feels better after crying.

5. Acknowledge suffering -  Helps us recognise our pain or difficulty, so that we can find ways to cope with the situation or seek help from someone.

Crying is good, healthy and comforting. We should allow everyone to cry to feel better. Many cultures believe that men should not cry, which is an extremely harsh and irrational demand. Crying should be normalised for everyone. 

How to Reduce Distraction and Find Rhythm

How to Reduce Distraction and Find Rhythm

So many things are going  on around us, we have to process so much information at once. It has become very difficult to concentrate on one thing only and flow with it. 

We get distracted very easily. This distraction hinders us from getting things done. If we are not able to finish a task, we feel anxious and sad. As our workload increases with time we get more and more worried.

It is important that we get things done well and on time. It will further boost our confidence and we can feel satisfied.

1. Focus on a single task at hand and do not multitask. Multitasking decreases productivity by 60% and reduces creativity. We also make more mistakes when we multitask.

2. Keep the most distracting object away. The mobile phone. Tell yourself that the task at hand is the most important thing right now.

3. If you are most productive for 30 minutes, after which you tend to get distracted, commit to the task for 30 minutes followed by a 5 minutes break. Take the break carefully. Do not start any activity that is hard to pause.

4. Reward yourself after getting a task done. Order the food you really wanted to eat once you are done. 

Brain Activities for a Better Life

Brain Activities for a Better Life

Our brain is our life support. It controls every other part of our body. When we keep our brain healthy, we are going to find that every other functioning in our body is improving.

How to have a healthy brain? The answer is we have to keep it active. When we are giving our brain various kinds of activity we are opening different avenues for it to grow, develop and nourish. 

Whenever the brain is presented with new information in the form of activities, the brain creates new connections and is revitalized. 

Various brain activities and how they affect us:

1) Puzzles - Such a sudoku, crossword other brain teasers. Puzzles improve mental speed, short-term memory and visual-spatial  reasoning.

2) Building Vocabulary - Learning new words daily helps improve visual and auditory processing. Helps us sound smart as well!

3) Dancing - Helps us develop new neural connections, improves executive functioning, long-term memory and spatial recognition. Reduces stress with the feel-good hormone serotonin.

4) Listening or playing music - Improves cognitive, motor skills, spatial-temporal learning etc. Music helps the brain to produce new neurons. Music helps us deal with stress and pain!

5) Discovering new routes - While travelling, adventure, hiking or going to work everyday. Improves cognitive flexibility, memory and creativity.

6) Learning a new language - Help us develop new areas of our mind, improve memory and strengthen the brain's natural ability to focus.